Easy as F*#k Vegan Pancake Recipe! 

  Merry Pancake Day Suckers!! 

Here’s how to make your very own titty juice and ovulation free pancakes this pancake day: 
8oz plain flour, 

a teaspoon of salt,

a pinch of nutmeg. 
Whisk that shit up! 
Then get a good teaspoon full of corn flour and mix with a teaspoon of cold water to make a cornflour egg. It should be a bit thick and starchy but not so its sticking to the spoon. It’s not an exact science, it’l work even you fuck it up! Add that to the mix.
Then add vanilla soy milk (or whatever milk you have so long as it’s not some odious boob juice) and whisk until your happy with the consistency, thicker for fat pancakes, thin and more ‘milky’ for thin pancakes.  
Then add blueberries (fresh or frozen) if you like, or don’t. It’s nice whatever. 
Heat up a pan, good and hot with whatever oil you have. Preferably not something too flavoured. I use coconut oil. And spoon the mix in! I used egg poaching rings but I’m fancy like that 😉 it really doesn’t matter, so long as it tastes like pancake, which it will! Flip that shit once, whack it on a plate, cover in sugar, maple syrup, agave, peanut butter and jam?! Whatever you like. 

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Takeover Event at the Bluebird Cafe Nottingham

The evening of Sunday, February 28th sees our first kitchen takeover of 2016, at the brilliant Bluebird Cafe in Nottingham. I can’t imagine anyone has much else to do on a Sunday evening so come along! Tickets are available via the Cafe and it is a pre-booked  only event. No walk-ins sorry! We will be open and ready to seat you at 6.30pm. 


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  So somehow I made it onto this List of PETA UK’s favourite UK vegan instagrammers?! Go figure! I can’t! Very baffled but equally grateful. Go check out the rest, they’re all better than me and certainly worth a look!

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Getting Married?!

We are taking bookings now for weddings and events during 2016. We can offer hot and cold, sweet and savoury buffets. Get in touch to discuss your requirements. After all, who wants a decaying corpse at their special day?!   

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Upcoming Events

So I thought it was about time I added some kind of calendar to the site so ya’ll know where to find me!

Go ahead and click on the little linky at the top, aptly titled ‘Upcoming Events’ for what I hope will remain a comprehensive list of dates for your vegan calendars.

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Why Vegan?

Its a question I get asked a-lot and regardless of the answer, no matter how coherent and poignant, I always hear the same lame ass excuses in return.

Frankly, If you eat meat, dairy and eggs, wear wool and leather or otherwise utilise animals animal products for your own gain then you are contributing to the pain, suffering and inevitable demise of other beings.

If the problem stems from a lack of education then you need to seek education rather than plead ignorance.

If the problem stems from a lack of compassion then you need to sit back and consider your place on this earth, what worth you have and why you deserve to be here.

Offer some humility, accept yourself as an equal to all others, regardless of sex, creed, colour or species and above all…



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Is there a better way to commemorate or celebrate than with a roof high mound of delicious cupcakes?! No, probably not.

Weddings, Birthdays, Pet Birthdays, Puppy showers and groundhog days.

Say what you feel with a cupcake!

For too long the world of Vegan cupcakes has been mired by the ‘too dry’, the ‘too oily’, the ‘too bland’… but no more.

Our R&D team have slaved over a hot stove (metaphorically speaking) to bring you the best Vegan Cupcakes that we know how, heck, the best cupcakes full stop.

We vow to leave titty suckling, secretion utilising bakeries of old trembling in our wake.

Just don’t tell your idiot non-vegan friends and relatives until after they’ve told you how fucking good they are!


This batch included; Peanut Butter Coco Cupcakes with Peanut Brittle topping, Chocolate and Blood Orange and Mocha.

Hundreds more flavours available on request.

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Compassionate Derby 2015

Just confirmed: we will be attending Compassionate Derby on Saturday the 28th of November 10:30 – 16:30.

Last years event was fantastic, with a great range of stalls, food vendors, crafts, animal related and cruelty free charities. Lets make this years event even better and bigger!!

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West Midlands Vegan Festival

We will be serving a selection of cold, savoury and sweet snacks including Quiche, ‘New York’ Cheesecake, Raw Mousse Cakes, Fresh Cream cakes and well, whatever the hell else we feel like making at the time.

Follow this link to view the event: West Midlands Vegan Festival

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Welcome to hailseitan.co.uk, home of ‘Unless’ – Hardcore Vegan Catering and Artisan “Meats”.

100% Vegan, 100% Hardcore and 100% Not suitable for hippies!

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